


Get Inside

by Rainne



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Inspired by a Ke$ha Song, Music Videos - Freeform, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, ambiguous timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-01-31 23:10:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12692124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainne/pseuds/Rainne
Summary: How Steve learned about music videos





	Get Inside

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write this for ages. Finally got around to it. Whee!
> 
> Inspired by [this art](https://rainnecassidy.tumblr.com/post/161035554489/moonriot-love-you-till-youre-seein-stars-and) made by [moonriot.tumblr.com](http://moonriot.tumblr.com/).

“You people are not going to _believe_ what I just found.”

The number of times Tony has said that, only to find that his audience is completely able to believe it, causes everyone in hearing to roll their eyes. “What is it now, Tony?” Clint asks from his perch on the back of the couch. “Did you finally discover _Charlie bit my finger_?”

“Ha, ha,” Tony replies in a flat voice. He points a finger at Clint. “For that, I ought to refuse you access. But because I am a benevolent dictator, I’m going to let it slide. For now.”

Clint smirks, taking a bite of the Slim Jim in his hand.

The elevator dings a bare second later, and when the doors open, Steve and Bucky step out dressed in tracksuits. “What is it, Stark?” Bucky asks, looking annoyed. “We were about to go running.”

“It can wait,” Tony replies simply. “As soon as the others get here.”

“We’re here,” Natasha says, entering the room just behind Bruce. Thor is right behind her. “What’s the big emergency?”

“JARVIS!” Tony exclaims with a theatrical air. “If you would be so kind as to display the video I discovered this morning.”

With a tone that’s the audible equivalent of an eyeroll, JARVIS replies, “Of course, sir.”

A moment later, the television screen comes on. It’s black for a moment while a woman’s voice announces, _This song makes me wanna have sex in my car,_ and then the screen lights up on a deserted two-lane highway. A pretty blonde woman driving a late-model gold-colored Pontiac Trans Am is seen flashing her lights and beeping her horn at a dorito-shaped blond man in a leather jacket and aviator sunglasses who is riding a black Harley Davidson. 

After a moment, the man pulls over, and so does the woman, who - both in the lyrics of the song and in the video playing - aggressively propositions the man. Just as the song announces _I’m the captain of this ship_ , the woman slides her hand up the man’s torso, spreading his jacket wide enough to expose the shield logo emblazoned on his chest, and almost everyone in the room straightens up.

“Holy shit,” Clint says, Slim Jim forgotten in his hand as the song continues, _Love you ‘til you’re seeing stars and stripes_. “She went there.”

“Is this meant to be a representation of our good Captain?” Thor asks, tilting his head a bit at the screen.

“She sure did,” Tony replies gleefully. “Yes, Thor, that’s exactly what it is. And that is honestly the most amazing Cap lookalike I think I’ve ever seen. Steve, you sure you don’t have any grandkids running around?”

“I’m sure,” Steve replies calmly, and Tony - as always when stymied by Steve’s indifference to modern sexual innuendoes - looks a little frustrated at Steve’s utter lack of fluster. 

Natasha laughs softly, like she knows what’s coming.

Steve waits a beat until after the song gets past _twenty bucks and a switchblade knife / American metal with the devil inside_ and the video gets past the shot of Ke$ha and the man on the screen climbing into the back of the convertible together. Just as the lookalike is shrugging his jacket off, the woman’s hands coming up to his waistband, Steve adds, “That’s not a lookalike.”

Tony, who’s just been in the process of taking a swig off his water bottle, does a literal spit take, and Bruce, who took the brunt of it, cries out in disgust before going to the kitchen for a towel. “Say again, what?!” Tony splutters.

Ke$ha is once again inviting the listener to _come on climb into my golden cockpit_ as Steve repeats, “It’s not a lookalike. It’s actually me. I mean, they _had_ a lookalike when I stumbled over them, but Ke$ha was really sweet, and after we’d talked for awhile she asked me if I’d like to do it and I said sure. It was fun.”

“Oh, yeah,” Bucky says suddenly. “That’s the dame you were tellin’ me about who explained to you about music videos.”

“Yeah,” Steve replies. “Sweet girl,” he adds, just as her voice soars on _Freedom riiiiiiiiiiiide!_ “She’s from Nashville. Said if I ever get down there to look her up and she’d show me around.”

“We ought to go sometime,” Bucky says, watching as the Steve on the screen shrugs back into his jacket, lays a hell of a kiss on the girl, and then goes and climbs back onto his motorcycle. 

“Yeah, we should,” Steve agrees. “I’ll send her a text and ask her when she’s going to be in town.”

Tony’s jaw drops. “You have Ke$ha’s phone number? _I_ don’t even have Ke$ha’s phone number!”

“Probably because in private she’s nothing like her public persona, and she’s not interested in the circles you used to run in,” Steve replies, eyeballing Tony. “But I’ll get her to autograph something for you when I see her, how about that?”


End file.
